Why Online Relationships Don't Work: An Expert's Perspective

Online dating has become increasingly popular in recent years but why do relationships formed over the internet often fail? Read this expert's perspective on why this happens.

Why Online Relationships Don't Work: An Expert's Perspective

Online dating has become increasingly popular in recent years, with more and more people turning to the internet to find love. But a new study on romantic relationships has found that as online daters get to know each other over time, their initially sweet notions can quickly turn sour. Researchers suggest that exaggerated expectations can lead to major disappointments when daters meet in person. Once a defect is detected, the entire date is contaminated.

Unfortunately, this behavior is not uncommon.According to a study conducted by the University of Wisconsin-Madison, 81% of people online lie about their weight, age, and height on their dating profiles. Algorithms can be great for finding like-minded people online, but that doesn't necessarily mean they'll share incredible chemistry together. In fact, the book Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social Networks studied 4,000 couples and found that those who met online were more likely to break up than couples who met in real life.If you're having trouble finding someone, consider expanding your search criteria. Instead of looking for someone five miles away, try looking for someone ten miles away.

Expand your age range and be open to dating someone who isn't your usual type. You may find that the reason you're single is because your “type” isn't right for you.Time also matters when it comes to online dating. Just because you have your cell phone and it's 12 o'clock at night doesn't mean it's a good time to text. As John Steinbeck said: “If it's right, it happens; the main thing is not to rush.”Some of the most common reasons people give for why online dating has had a positive effect focus on its ability to expand people's dating groups and allow them to evaluate someone before agreeing to meet in person.

Yes, online dating can be very superficial and time consuming, but it's still the most effective way to find a partner.Six out of ten women aged 18 to 34 who use online dating say that someone continued to contact them after saying they weren't interested, while 57% report that another user sent them a sexually explicit message or image that they didn't ask for. This includes those who participated as members of the American Trends Panel (ATP) of the Pew Research Center, an online survey panel that is recruited through a national random sampling of residential addresses, as well as respondents from the Ipsos Knowledge Panel who identified as lesbian, gay or bisexual (LGB).Not only has online dating disrupted more traditional ways of meeting romantic partners, its increase also comes at a time when norms and behaviors around marriage and cohabitation are changing as more people delay marriage or choose to remain single. Some 62% of online daters believe that relationships where people met through a dating site or app are as successful as those that started in person, compared to 52% of those who never dated online.Between a busy work schedule and other obligations, some people simply don't have the availability to develop a real and lasting relationship via the Internet. About 12% of adults say they have married or entered into a committed relationship with someone they first met through a dating site or app.The current survey reveals that online dating is especially popular among certain groups, especially among younger adults and those who identify as lesbian, gay or bisexual (LGB).

A clear majority of online daters (71%) say that it's very common for people on these platforms to lie about themselves to appear more desirable, while another 25% think it's a common occurrence.About 53% of Americans overall (including those who date and haven't dated online) agree that dating sites and apps are a very or somewhat safe way to meet people, while a slightly smaller proportion (46%) believe that these platforms aren't a very or not at all secure way to meet people.These changing realities have sparked a broader debate about the impact of online dating on romantic relationships in the United States. This can lead to bad experiences and bad confrontations that can leave you feeling more than a little “bored” about online romance.If you've been rejected for love in the past, have a busy schedule, or are at a point in your life where it's hard to meet people, online dating has never been a more popular option. About 3% of adults said they had ever used a dating site or app and entered into a long-term relationship or marriage with someone they first met through online dating.When it comes to finding love online, it's important to remember that patience is key. Be open-minded and explore different options; don't rush into anything.

And don't forget: if someone isn't interested in you, don't take it personally — there are plenty of fish in the sea!.

Allen Craiger
Allen Craiger

Incurable food advocate. Devoted web guru. Freelance analyst. Avid twitter expert. Hardcore internet ninja. Typical webaholic.